I like comparing the Bill Clinton BlowJob Scandal to the infamous “I grabbed her by the pussy” statement of today’s president. They aren’t the same thing at all and yet show where our society’s standards are on a spectrum of sorts. Honestly, I see it as a type of mass mental disorder for humans perpetually seeking meaning in a merciless world. There’s probably a way to measure exactly how far up your own ass someone can get, right? I propose we call it the Asshat Scale.

As recently as 20 years ago, America’s president was embroiled in a drama of cum stains and infidelity that enraged conservatives to the extent they could be without the help of Facebook and Twitter. Impeached for obstructing justice, denying some oral play got blown out of proportion and it was the closest thing America had to a presidential sex scandal since Kennedy. This was during a second term and mostly hyped to distract the country from the Whitewater proceedings that started the whole problem.

In today’s America, a presidential candidate uses a crass phrase about his compensation methods and the conservatives vote him into office. Up until Trump, I’m pretty sure Republican candidates were chosen from a pool of eunuchs and assigned identities for the campaign at hand. I mean, all they can do is grab the pussy at that point. Personally, I want people to grab my pussy. It grabs back. I might become a superheroin that fights sexual assault by intervening and beating up the offender with my vagina. My calling card is a super plus tampon – so they can stop the bleeding. Hoo-yah!