Category Archives: Future Plans

My inspirations, missions, goals and future plans.

Solitude versus “alone time”

Book, Daily Life, Future Plans, mur, Reasons for Things

Looking around social media, I regularly see individuals discussing how introverted they are and how hard it is to be so misunderstood all the time.  Let’s ignore for a second that posting to Facebook every 30 minutes is the opposite of introverted behavior.  Why is everyone clamoring for the label all of a sudden?  There’s no glory in being reticent.  Well-known introverts only got recognition after a lifetime of introspection and solitude.  You’re only the quiet one if you don’t saying anything about it.  Continue reading Solitude versus “alone time” →

Puppies!

CSPC, Daily Life, First Impressions, Future Plans, mur, Reasons for Things, Stories

Monetarily I’ve gotten much more than $40 worth of parties out of my CSPC AYCE card. It’s impossible to do everything and actually enjoy myself so I chose carefully. The Unleashed! party, held as a fundraiser for SEA-PAH, is the most revealing experience I’ve had and worth far more than the $10 donation. I went into the party mostly ignorant but optimistic. As Brad Pitt says, I like dags.  Continue reading Puppies! →

Anal Sex

Art, Daily Life, First Impressions, Future Plans, mur, Quick Thoughts

There’s a difference between making someone come and helping someone come. Therein lies the spectrum of human sexuality. I spent my whole sex life trying to make my partners have orgasms. All that I wore, said and did was in effort to get them off. No concern for my own pleasure or pain, stopping before their climax left me unfulfilled.  The mentality of trying to force an orgasm elicits frustration almost from the start.  Making someone do something implies an oppositional approach in general.  It’s the same thing driving some people to go down so aggressively you’d think those genitals owe them money.  Continue reading Anal Sex →

Sex Club

CSPC, Daily Life, First Impressions, Future Plans, Games, mur, Reasons for Things

The first rule of Sex Club is there’s no drinking at the sex club.  Unlike almost every other sexually charged social event I’ve attended, there is no drinking at CSPC parties.  One of the inherent rules in any consent culture is that you must be able to give consent.  The only way to feel safe in some situations is knowing you and your partner(s) are lucid and willing.  For me, sobriety makes everything even sexier.  I don’t need to lower my inhibitions to ask for what I want for the first time in my life. It’s empowering. Continue reading Sex Club →

Commitment Issues

Daily Life, First Impressions, Future Plans, mur, Reasons for Things

I’s very nice knowing what I need.  Most of the drama in dating comes from people confusing what they want with what they need.  My approach to sex positivity is finally acknowledging all the shadowy corners of myself I never thought to share.  I’ve met people as dark as I am and they encourage me to embrace the darkness.  I feel less alone while continuing to stand firmly on my own.  My weakness is getting caught up in commitments, aka caring what other people think. Continue reading Commitment Issues →

Self Ignorance

Daily Life, Future Plans, mur, Random, Reasons for Things, Stories

Keeping my mouth shut is a learned skill. I didn’t cultivate it until my 30s due to self ignorance, the opposite of self awareness. Before that, the main source of information on who I am was my parents. My mother especially has opinions about who I should be. The real problem is how long I spent trying to make them happy. If I’d adopted any accountability for my existence back then who knows what kind of bad decisions I could have made. Oh, the gutters I could have woken up in!  Now my choices are tempered by maturity and cynicism.  I stay quiet and avoid mistakes with patience most of the time.  It’s slow work but remaining self aware keeps me in touch with the ultimate goal – happiness. Continue reading Self Ignorance →

Suicidal Idealization

Daily Life, Future Plans, mur, Quick Thoughts, Rants, Reasons for Things

I left my hometown in January. It was somewhat abrupt even though I planned for it. It’s not even the end of May and I already can’t remember my life there. My life here is still completely foreign. Everywhere I go is new and people are consistently surprised by me. I am admired often but not welcomed in. That’s the nature of Seattle. Continue reading Suicidal Idealization →

5 Keys to a Happy Life

Book, Future Plans, mur, Random

Moderation – This is the first and most important key.  Once you figure out how to moderate it’s possible to enter a zen-like state where worry can’t stick to you.  Everything you do is based in the present and intuition is finely tuned.  It’s not a perfect way to live because we are human and will fuck up.  The idea of moderation brings you back to your center (whatever that is) and facilitates a non-judgemental perspective on all things.  Continue reading 5 Keys to a Happy Life →

Leather Hairdresser

Art, CSPC, Daily Life, First Impressions, Future Plans, mur, Quick Thoughts, Reasons for Things, Stories

I’m glad I waited for the real thing.  Continue reading Leather Hairdresser →