There’s a difference between making someone come and helping someone come. Therein lies the spectrum of human sexuality. I spent my whole sex life trying to make my partners have orgasms. All that I wore, said and did was in effort to get them off. No concern for my own pleasure or pain, stopping before their climax left me unfulfilled.  The mentality of trying to force an orgasm elicits frustration almost from the start.  Making someone do something implies an oppositional approach in general.  It’s the same thing driving some people to go down so aggressively you’d think those genitals owe them money. 

Now I just help people come.  Thanks to some of the sex-positive groups and venues I’ve found, there’s a countless number of ways to be of assistance.  Just letting people watch me is helpful sometimes.  I might suck on a man’s dick all day long and never get him off because what that guy wants is to watch me rub oil all over my naked breasts while he jerks off.  In terms of gratification, what pleases the goose does not, in fact, always please the gander.  Gently coaxing an orgasm out of someone is far more erotic than any of the sex-capades I see in typical porn but that’s just what I like.

Putting on a strap-on is less sexy than it sounds.  Once everything is harnessed in place it’s quite fetching but the rigamarole of slipping it on takes some getting used to.  Then there’s the sheer weight of a dildo compared to the more compactly designed penis.  Walking around all day with one of those flopping between my legs I can sort of understand why men get so obsessed.  Once it’s on I totally want to stick it in just about everything.  Fortunately, I plan to stick with a detachable model for now.

After the fact, I’m surprised only by how many times I came while penetrating someone else.  I already want a double-sided dong for my next go because the amount of pleasure from just grinding against the harness while swaying my hips is enough to get off.  The energetic bond between my partner and I is tangible, as if the dildo I’m humping is a conduit for our sexual chemistry.  If I were to anchor that bad boy with my own kegel muscles…  it makes me quiver thinking how deep the connection could go.