Boxed In

My anxiety has manifested into cardboard boxes. I must have 4 dozen or more in here. Probably more. I broke down all the small boxes and put them in the big boxes. Now the big boxes are so heavy I have trouble picking them up. 

To get to the recycling bins I have to walk on the street to the south side of the building. It’s not a long walk but for some reason I’m embarrassed to make it. I just know there’s someone out there watching me awkwardly haul these over-sized boxes down the hill and they are judging me. I don’t know exactly why I’m being judged but it’s intimidating enough that I now I have a mountain of boxes sitting in my apartment taking up space.

I know at some point I’ll overcome my anxiety and get all these boxes moved out.  It just doesn’t seem possible right now.  It will seem impossible up until I start doing it.  Halfway through I’ll wonder why I made such a big deal.  After 20 minutes I’ll step inside my front room and breath a sweaty sigh of relief.  The cats might be distraught at the loss.

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