Category Archives: Future Plans

My inspirations, missions, goals and future plans.

Hiking

Book, Future Plans, mur, Stories

I went snowmobiling in Steamboat Springs, CO when I was 16. All of my good vacations were other families’ trips and this was no exception. On the first day, we took ski lessons. I had the muscle tone of a veal cutlet at the time so the result was lots of falling down. The very next thing we did was ski lift to the top of the mountain where there was a very nice restaurant. The plan was to ski down. With me and an 8-year old in the party, the decision was made to take the winding green circle path to get back to the lodge. Continue reading Hiking →

Nostalgiarrhea

Art, Daily Life, Future Plans, January 2017, mur, Quick Thoughts

I ate a xanax for the first time in ages today. I’ve felt a stiffness in my neck and shoulders for a few days and finally my jaw started to ache. I’m clenching my jaw when I sleep and getting tension headaches. I personally believe this is because I’m not getting laid. At least, not often enough. I feel like I am getting control of my life and yet still have fitful dreams every night. Vivid scenarios involving the same general motif. There’s one place and one person that keeps coming back to my mind. I want to start questioning my decisions. I’m afraid my entire life is a mistake. I am wavering on Rule #1 – Never go back. Continue reading Nostalgiarrhea →

Puppy Fever

Art, Daily Life, Future Plans, January 2017, mur, Reasons for Things

My concerted effort to stay single in 2016 was wildly successful. So successful in fact it looks like I’ll stay single for the rest of my life. I’ve forgotten what it feels like be casually affectionate. Can’t even seem to pet my cat right these days. I had a dream last night in a strange house where I neither lived or belonged. While visiting I found a little white puppy, 6-8 weeks old, a white color similar to false teeth and very happy to know me in particular. I asked if I could take the pup home and they said yes. I went down to my car to make sure I could get there with my new companion. Continue reading Puppy Fever →

Performance Art

Art, Daily Life, Future Plans, January 2017, mur, Stories

Last December I taught 5 volunteers how to do about a dozen yoga poses in around 45 minutes. Tonight I taught about about a dozen unwilling people 2 yoga poses in around 5 minutes. It was a personal challenge to myself. Not endorsed and certainly not approved by management, I went old school Magic Hat and used my 5 minutes to do whatever the hell I want. I used a unique approach to defeat stage fright in 2014. I found places to be on stage with minimal expectation. At Spillit, the only thing I had to do was try. It started my entire theory – being on stage isn’t hard, caring what the audience thinks is. Continue reading Performance Art →

January 2017

Art, Book, Daily Life, First Impressions, Future Plans, January 2017, mur, Reasons for Things, Stories, Yoga

The days of trusting my gut are only beginning and no one can make me second guess those decisions anymore. Having a good time doesn’t happen in just one place. This artificial time delineation is the easiest to wrap my tiny human brain around. New Year’s Day feels fresher after all the parties instead of hungover, like the day after Halloween. For the next month I’ll do at least two things every day. Yoga and writing. Forcing my thoughts out into the open is the only way to flush out good ideas. The yoga is for my sanity. Continue reading January 2017 →

Year End

Art, Daily Life, Future Plans, mur, Rants, Reasons for Things

I’m at the end of 2016 comfortably sitting in Seattle with opportunity ahead of me. Not as much as I started the year with but I’m thrilled to still be kicking around a chance to do well here. Surrounded mostly by friends I only know a little bit about but not enough to call anyone family. I woke up today with a plan to party accompanied by a trustworthy human. Miscommunication that it was, I am apparently not granted a plus one. Instinctively, that minuses me from the party also. Not only is it far enough away I can’t get there without a ride, I don’t like the idea of attending something so exclusive all by myself. Continue reading Year End →

Job Opportunities

Daily Life, Future Plans, mur, Reasons for Things, Yoga

Raining when it pours. Snowing when it’s cold enough. I’ve gotten two job offers this week. Both because my friends stepped in to help me out. Just reinforces what I believe in the first place – I’m worthless until someone vouches for me. Not so bad considering how many people need help to get started. Especially here, in a place where I’m alone. The people helping me didn’t even ask for a good reason. They just like me, regardless of what I can offer them in return. Fortunate for them, I have quite a bit to offer. Continue reading Job Opportunities →

Art, Daily Life, Future Plans, mur

My life doesn’t feel like my own anymore. Supportive people all around as I slip into a well of loneliness. It’s not their job to save me. The only hope is to look down and recognize my own legs. My body has changed from a baby-fattened, insecure woman into strong, solid muscles with tits. I can feel the fun parts of me rising to the surface. Life-affirming, purpose-having fun. I simply need a source of income. I prefer one that I earn for semi-regular work done. I’ll take charity in lieu of that. I make a pretty stellar professional volunteer. Continue reading →

Suicidal

Art, Book, Daily Life, Future Plans, mur, Quick Thoughts, Rants, Reasons for Things, Stories

One statistic I read said that people who talk about committing suicide are less likely to do it. Successfully, at least. This was after Wade died and I made a vow to not be one of those vapid, narcissistic assholes that brings up suicide every time emotions run high. I did enough of that as an early teenager to last forever. I’d scream at the top of my lungs about unfairness and how much I wanted to kill myself. I probably really felt that way at the time. Back then, I felt everything to such a high degree I can’t remember what’s real sometimes. Continue reading Suicidal →