I fell off the wagon last week.  Despite an inspirational teacher training session and the arrival of my revised 2015 assessment manual, I lost touch with my practice.  I could blame the weather, as the ice stymied any attempt at time management.  In reality, my priorities shifted.  I neglected to cultivate my personal connection to yoga and the resulting discord took control. 

Fortunately, it was during the weekend and I accomplished some good external work.  Today is about getting back to the present.  I’m deliberately doing nothing.  Not even yoga.  I’m sitting still until I can make a move with intention.  Several lengthy asanas would center me faster, but I can’t guarantee my attention span yet.   For example:

The floor is dirty, so I need to sweep up first.  Every time I sweep, I inevitably reorganize at least one pile of residual moving. Gotta get those dust bunnies!  By then, I realize the kitchen and/or bathroom needs cleaning.  I already feel kinda sweaty icky, so might as well.  It’ll only take another few minutes.  And of course, there’s always laundry to be done.  Just a quick shower after that and I’m ready to do yoga!*

Yeah, right.  I know myself well enough to predict all that behavior.  So why do I lie to myself about needing to do all that before I just get on the mat?

Instead, I’m just not doing any of it until I can focus on what I actually need to get done.  Doing yoga isn’t better than cleaning my apartment.  The two are the same.  Yoga requires a sense of security.  For me, it’s almost impossible to relax in savasana if I can see tumbleweeds of pet hair under the couch.

So I’m just being still.  My nerves are pretty frayed and my window of tolerance feels painted shut.  By keeping my body still, I force my mind to calm down.  Eventually, I realize how wound up my body has been.  I have my feet propped up but it took nearly 20 minutes to relax my legs.  Right at this moment, my yoga is mostly internal and I’m typing this as I wait.  I’m prepared to wait for hours.

When I get my head on straight I’ll start to move again.  With intention.  I will complete a mindful sequence.  I’ll get on my mat and get back to the yoga. I don’t have to do anything else today.  Makes for a great day off if you ask me.

Until then, I have my best friend next to me and I’m reading Stranger In A Strange Land.  Let me tell you about my best friend.   She’s so fine and will love me ’til the end.

Namaste.

 

 

*This train of thought is brought to you by 2 Seconds in Ro's Mind