Everything’s pretty much the same. Ego is the only glue keeping those fig leaves in place. If you can’t get small enough to wriggle out of your confines then grow big enough to break the walls. Every step of your way, remind yourself you have a right to be here too. And I belong just as much as you do. Agent of chaos, nothing about my observations is a reflection on you, except we are all human. Living in the thick of it, a thin line is best appreciated. Growing up having nothing isn’t as bad when you have the vast expanse of nature to explore. Scale accordingly.

I’ve fallen in love with the boy sitting behind me. Mostly because I want to punch him in the face for bumping into my back repeatedly. But also because I can understand what he is trying to say. Not sure who he is talking to or what about but I can feel the intent of his effort. Like a vector facing the person in front of him. Always analyzing the situation and the best way to handle things. You have to be your best. Otherwise all those people who love you are disappointed and it all falls apart. Can’t be less than they expect.

Projection much? I still fantasize about telling that imperious cunt at Mecca what I think of her. Instead I smiled and bit my tongue. My survival as a weaker creature has hinged on an ability to play the game. The Quiet Game, in my case. Better than playing Graveyard. Keeping my trap shut and smiling is the only way I got where I am now. If asked, I still candidly explain why I’m here. My circumstances do not define me but accepting who I am is a real thing. I love my life, warts and all.

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