Category Archives: Reasons for Things

Well thought-out posts and in-depth observations. Warning: may contain extensive abstract thought.

Self Reconstruction

When bitten by the bug to clean things up I sometimes take it to the extreme. For example, last week I drop LSD and decide to clean up a pile of clutter in the corner of my front room. Pulling that thread leads to the demolition and subsequent reconstruction of an apartment I moved into 2 years ago.  When the dust settles four hours later, I’m naked and sweaty with dirt stuck to my slick skin like war paint. Everything’s different and all that’s left of the old arrangement is a small pile of detritus in the center of the room. I feel refreshed. Continue reading Self Reconstruction


They are here to break in Docs, what else do I have them for? A drawer full of things that I don’t need. Until I do. Forever saving for the chance that something considered waste will someday be gold. It seems to happen all the time. And then make another fortune making fun of it. And then use those fortunes to gain proprietary interest in one of the three major networks controlling how America thinks and make sure IT is the only thing anyone can ever talk about. That’s the dream, right? Continue reading Bandaids


The best part of my life is moments like these. Continue reading Saturnalia

The Serfsons

The most recent Simpsons episode is pretty great. I could really feel the Fuck You’s in the writing. Clearly still written by men, there’s a short speech about a girl becoming a woman who wants to be a mother and I totally understand the contextual nature of the situation but a run-on sentence is the only way to express my dissatisfaction at the misplaced sentiment. Life is about change and not everything is for everyone.  I don’t expect to be right about everything yet I’m completely sure of myself. The past few years were about learning to fall gracefully. Getting back up? That happens at your own pace. Continue reading The Serfsons


The story is complete. I didn’t find the villain until the very end and surprise, it’s not actually me. Shedding the last of my childhood trappings, I finally shaved my head completely. Fulfilling a 21-year old desire, it brought me right back to the center of the wheel. Less of a fool, I’m sure of the magician inside me. The next few symbolic roles may or may not play into the story but I’m going all the way up to the Tower. Everything after that is just sycophantic fluff. Continue reading Perhaps.

What A Difference

Driving toward the airport at 3am, I’m mildly annoyed. Not that I’m driving, but that I spent my birthday alone. Dave was asleep because of this 3am flight. Dan was throwing a fit about some drunk tease I whispered to him the night before. Matt was available but only to have me come to his place – not what I’m into. If anyone wants to get into my birthday suit-pants they have to do the requisite legwork. Consequently, I stumbled home alone at midnight and watched Project Runway quietly while Dave slept in the other room. Born to lose, I’m used to disappointment during supposedly special occasions. I would have had more fun at work. Continue reading What A Difference

Sharknado 5

The moral of the story is all people are terrible. Five movies about radioactive sharks trying to conquer the world and the rag-tag misfits working together to stop them? At least it’s not another remake. We’re at a point in the movie where Geraldo Rivera just picked up the heroes in an airship like mother-fucking Cid from Final Fantasy. It was a short-lived venture, probably a budgetary decision.  Continue reading Sharknado 5


That’s the title to a song if you didn’t know. It doesn’t matter who the artist is because you can’t pull it up on a jukebox. Most of my post titles are titles of something else. I don’t get overt about it because that’s not what I’m doing here. I was reminded last night that I haven’t revisited the point of this blog since starting it in 2014. The subsequent 3 years were littered with highs and lows as I fearlessly embraced a complete life change. I’ve always had a penchant for pursuing my goals relentlessly. After twenty years of using the internet, I finally carved out my own place and started publicly saying things in a blog no one reads. Continue reading Broken


The hardest stage to reconcile because it hinges on outside influences. Depression and anger are at least stages you can drink through. Getting drunk while bargaining leads to 3am texts and Facebook stalking. The best way to handle this part of grief is vivisection. Intercept urges to beg and break them down. Look at the problem until you discover why you feel that need. It’s never because of the thing you’ve lost. Bothering other people with fruitless hopes is just selfish drama. Continue reading Bargaining